Monday, November 9, 2009

Email of the day

My email inbox is ridiculously full. I check it daily but rarely actually read the messages. It now has over 700 messages in my inbox and about 400 of those are "unread"! I very rarely forward anything on to people unless it's something different that I haven't received twenty different times over the years! Another problem is that after changing my email address several times I have lost other people's email addresses and so I don't have many people in my address book to forward things on to. So I decided that I would start sharing some of the emails that i like here on my blog! This will not only help me clear out my inbox but also give me something to post on days when I can't think of anything to write about ;) So here is my first "Email of the day".........

We can all relate to most if not all of these

• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
• I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
• There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
• How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (especially a king-size one!)
• I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
• I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
• Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
• Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)…ummm...Goonies"
• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
• I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
• Bad decisions make good stories.
• I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
• "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dangit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
• Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
• As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
• Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
• Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
•Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
• I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
• I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
• The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel fat before dinner

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